COUNSELLOR'S CORNER
When School Becomes a Struggle: How to Help Your Child Cope
It’s not uncommon for children to feel overwhelmed at school from time to time. If your child is saying they feel unwell, asking to come home early, or showing signs that they don’t want to go to school, they might be finding parts of their school day challenging. The reassuring news is that there are many ways you can help.
Spotting the Early Signs
School anxiety and avoidance can start with small things. Keep an eye out for:
Frequent tummy aches or headaches, especially on school mornings
Worry about friendships, schoolwork, or being away from parents/home
Difficulty sleeping before school days
Stalling, bargaining, or getting upset when it’s time to leave for school
Vague reasons for staying home like “I just don’t feel right”
If these signs keep happening or become more intense—like meltdowns or refusing to leave the house—it’s important to step in early.
Why It Might Be Happening
Kids might avoid school for a range of reasons, including:
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Separation anxiety or feeling unsafe when away from home
- Social struggles or friendship issues
- Learning difficulties that make school feel hard
- Anxiety, low mood, or other mental health concerns
- Big changes at home like moving, illness, or family stress
Try asking open-ended questions like “What would you change about school if you could?” This can help uncover what’s really going on.
How to Help at Home
Tackling school anxiety and avoidance early can stop it from becoming a habit. Here are some things you can do:
Really listen to your child’s worries without dismissing them
Reassure them that it’s okay to feel nervous or worried—but school is still important
Create calm, consistent morning and evening routines
Celebrate small wins, like getting ready on time or walking into school
Offer small, meaningful rewards for school attendance
Make staying home less appealing—limit screen time and keep routines going
Stay in touch with your child’s teacher to check in on how things are going
Working Together with the School
You’re not in this alone, at Holy Cross, we want to help. Talk with your child’s teacher or school support team. Together, we can:
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Explore social or learning supports
- Access counselling help through the school
- Plan a gentle return—maybe starting with shorter days or favourite classes
It is essential your child has someone to talk to—whether that’s a family member, a trusted adult, or a counsellor.
When to Seek Extra Help
If things aren’t improving, or if anxiety or depression are involved, it’s time to get professional support. Your GP is a great place to start—they can check your child’s health and refer you to a psychologist or paediatrician. Through a Mental Health Treatment Plan, you may be able to access subsidised support via Medicare.
Helpful Resources for Further Information
Jo Cordwell
School Counsellor