COUNSELLOR'S CORNER
Helping Kids Grow Stronger and Face Life with Confidence
As parents and educators, we all want the very best for our children. It’s only natural to want to protect them from life’s disappointments, whether it’s a tough friendship moment, a school setback, or something that simply feels too big. But the truth is, while we can’t protect them from every difficult experience, we can give our children something even more powerful…resilience.
What is Resilience?
Resilient children don’t give up easily. They’re able to bounce back from disappointments, learn from their mistakes, and keep going when things get tough. That doesn’t mean they never feel sad, angry, or frustrated, it just means they’ve learned how to move through those feelings and come out stronger on the other side.
And here’s the good news: resilience isn’t something kids are either born with or not. It’s a skill and like any skill, it can be taught, modelled, and encouraged over time. At home and at school, we all have a part to play in helping our children grow into strong, confident problem-solvers. Here are five simple ways we can do just that.
- Be a Supportive Role Model
Children are always watching, learning from how we respond to life’s ups and downs. When we handle challenges with calmness, honesty, and maybe even a little humour, we show our children what resilience looks like in real life.
It also helps when children are surrounded by positive adults such as teachers, grandparents, coaches, neighbours who show them that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as we keep trying. Every encouraging adult in a child’s life adds to their sense of safety and confidence.
- Let Children Make Mistakes
It’s tempting to swoop in and fix things when our children make mistakes, like forgotten homework or a rushed assignment. But these “little failures” are actually big learning moments.
Letting children experience the outcomes from their actions (in a safe, supported way) teaches them responsibility and problem-solving. It may be hard to watch in the short term, but it builds long term strength.
- Praise Effort, Not Perfection
We all love to celebrate our children’s successes, but how we do it matters. Instead of focusing on traits “You’re so smart!”, try praising effort and persistence “You worked really hard on that!” or “You didn’t give up, even when it was tricky!”.
This kind of praise encourages a growth mindset, the belief that we can improve with effort, learning, and practice. And that’s exactly the mindset resilient children need.
- Talk About Emotions
It’s okay for kids to feel big emotions. In fact, naming and validating those feelings is the first step toward managing them.
When your child is upset, try saying something like, “It sounds like you’re feeling really disappointed. That’s a hard feeling and it’s okay to feel that way.” Once they’ve felt heard, you can gently guide them toward thinking about what to do next. Over time, they’ll build the emotional toolkit they need to navigate life’s challenges with maturity and empathy.
- Encourage Problem-Solving
When your child comes to you with a problem, try asking: “What do you think might help?” or “What have you already tried?” Instead of jumping in with a solution, you’re helping them learn how to think through a challenge.
Even if their first idea doesn’t work, that’s okay, it’s all part of learning. The goal isn’t to avoid problems, but to become confident and capable at solving them.
Resilience doesn’t mean “toughing it out” or pretending everything is fine. It means learning how to get back up, keep going, and grow from the experience. That’s something every child can learn, and they learn it best when surrounded by adults who believe in them.
At school, we’re committed to helping children build these important life skills. And we know how powerful it can be when home and schoolwork together.
If you ever feel like your child is struggling to bounce back, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Sometimes, a bit of extra support can make all the difference in helping children to grow stronger, kinder, and more resilient every day.
Jo Cordwell
Holy Cross School Counsellor