RUOK?... The Power of Connecting and Checking In

Next week on Thursday, 11 September 2025, Australians will come together to recognise RUOK? Day. This year’s theme, ‘Ask RUOK? Any Day’, is an important reminder that conversations about mental health and wellbeing don’t have to wait for a special occasion. Every day is a good day to check in with those around us, our friends, our colleagues, our neighbours, and most importantly, our children and families.

At its heart the message is simple, a caring question and a listening ear can make a big difference. Building everyday habits of connection helps children and adults alike feel supported and less alone.

The Power of Connection

Building connections with others is like a magic potion for feeling good. Humans have evolved to live in close family groups, with a deep need for social interaction wired into our DNA.

When we spend time with people we care about, it fulfils a need we may not even realise we have, leaving us feeling happier, calmer, and more energised. On a biological level, connecting with others triggers the release of “happy chemicals” in our brains, like oxytocin and serotonin, which help us feel safe and content.

At every stage of life, whether we’re introverted or extroverted, meaningful connection has real benefits for our health and wellbeing. For children, strong family connections are especially powerful, helping them to feel secure, understood, and resilient. For parents, it’s also a source of energy and joy.

Why Asking “Are You OK?” Matters

Research shows that when people are regularly asked “Are you OK?” they often feel a stronger sense of wellbeing. In fact, a third of Australians say they’ve been checking in with others more often over the past year. That’s a wonderful sign that many of us are already making the effort to show up for those we care about.

Of course, starting a deeper conversation can sometimes feel a little daunting. Many people wonder, “What if I say the wrong thing?” or “What if they don’t want to talk?” The good news is that nine out of ten Australians say they feel grateful, supported, and cared about when someone genuinely asks if they’re OK. That’s a powerful reminder that simply showing you care really does make a difference.

You may already be having these conversations without even realising it, perhaps during the school run, while sharing a meal, or even when tucking your child into bed. Small, everyday moments are often the best opportunities to check in.

And if you ever feel unsure, there are plenty of free resources with tips and ideas to help you feel more confident. Remember, you don’t need to have all the answers, you just need to listen and care.

Conversations at Home

As parents and carers, you play a central role in building this culture of connection. Here are some small but meaningful ways to weave “RUOK?” into family life:

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  Create space to talk – Ask open-ended questions at dinner, bedtime, or on the way to school. Instead of “Did you have a good day?”, try “What was the best part of your day?” or “Was there anything tricky about today?”
• Listen with patience – Children may not always have the words to explain how they feel. Sometimes, listening quietly and letting them take their time shows more support than offering quick solutions.
• Model openness – Share your own feelings in simple ways. For example: “I felt a bit worried at work today, but talking about it helped.” This teaches children that it’s okay to talk about emotions.
• Notice changes – If your child seems quieter than usual, more irritable, or withdrawn, gently check in. A calm “You seem a bit upset; do you want to talk about it?” can open a door.
• Normalise checking in – Show that it’s okay to ask, “Are you OK?” within your family at any time, not just when something looks wrong.

Building a Supportive Community

By making small, regular efforts to connect, we help children understand the value of empathy and support. This doesn’t just strengthen family relationships; it also teaches lifelong skills for kindness and compassion.

Let’s remember that every day offers an opportunity to connect. A simple check-in, whether with our children, our partners, or a friend, can make a lasting difference.

Jo Cordwell
Holy Cross School Counsellor